Fala com Deus

Para os pecadores que estao arrependidos dos seus actos impróprios, deixo aqui um link para que voces se confessem a vontade:


http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html


Apenas 1 requesito necessario, falar minimamente bem Ingles!

Have fun

Epa nao da pa falr com este cabrao! ate fikei com azia, vejam la isto...:

Me:
hi there
God:
Hello The Great Pmike.
Me:
badjoras!! i have a problem god
God:
" Hello The Great Pmike."? badjoras? Have you talked to anyone about it? GOD rules.
Me:
it doesnt matter right now, i have bigger problems now and i need your advice
God:
OK what would you like to talk about?
Me:
well, PDuque calls me gay and fag
God:
Well that's okay. What's your sign?
Me:
thats ok?
God:
OK. Is that so.
Me:
really? he calls me that and you think its ok?
God:
For real. OK. I get it. calls you that and me think its.
Me:
? what are you talking about dude?
God:
The topic is PDuque calls you gay and fag.
Me:
RIGHT... so, i dont like it and i want that you hit him with a bolt for humiliating me
God:
I am glad we agree. Gee. What don't you like about it? Why do you want it?
Me:
are you idiot? would you like if i called you a fag?
God:
Do I look like it? It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
SO IT DOESN'T SOUND FUN TO ME EITHER
God:
It goes without saying. Are you kidding? What does SOUND FUN to you ?
Me:
well, watching Demonking dancing ballet in a pink dress sounds a lot fun to me..
God:
How about that. You are asking about yourself?
Me:
NO YOU RETARDED FORGET IT.
God:
Who are you asking about? Do you mind if I tell other people: The Great Pmike said I RETARDED FORGET IT.
Me:
ok, you have been on drugs clearly, so for the last time, could you hit Pduque with a fucking bolt?
God:
God eats wine and bread. Aw.
Me:
AAAAAHHHHHHH FUCK YOU, PUT THE BREAD UP YOUR ASS
God:
I'm sorry but I'm not your type of .
Me:
what? are you calling me gay too?
God:
Are you surprised? If calling you gay too, then we have something in common, eh. No I am calling you The Great Pmike.
Me:
ok, im calling the devil to rape you right now, you will regret this mother fucker
God:
What is the phone number? Really. You do not speak with respect.
Me:
im dealling 666 right now bitch...
God:
You do not speak with respect. Good gossip: you are dealling 666 right now FEMALE DOG.
Me:
want a 1 on 1 and finish this right now?
God:
At this moment No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
screw you... im out
God:
That is not very polite.

ENFIM! vou processar este gajo...

God:
How are you doing, Almighty Duque.
Me:
fine , i got a question
God:
I am glad to hear it. Ask me anything.
Me:
Why is pmike gay?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Answer me
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
Pmike is gay but he doesnt admit it
God:
I think Pmike is a lot of things.
Me:
yeah? lke what?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Pmike. Try being more or less specific. Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
pmike is a lot of things?
God:
When is pmike not a lot of things?
Me:
since you said it
God:
How do you know?
Me:
i read it..
God:
I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
ok forget it, pmike is gay and hides it
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log. And?
Me:
and i think he should get laid
God:
Why? If you were him would you do that?
Me:
of course
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
but he does that with men
God:
I get it. does that with men.
Me:
so , can you convert him?
God:
Wow! How old are you? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about read it. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
what'
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
you are changing the subject
God:
Only temporarily.
Me:
CONVERT PMIKE
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
not answer, DEMAND
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Let him get laid
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
what kind of god are you
God:
What kinds of god are you are there?
Me:
the one that does miracles and obviously a stupid one
God:
I think I know that one.
Me:
of course you do, it's yo
God:
That's cool. What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
STFU
God:
In the context of Let him get laid, I don't understand " STFU." .
Me:
Means shut the fuck upo
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
omfg just convert him
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
how do you wana die
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
im gona kill you
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
omfg
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
PREPARE TO DIE
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
OMG
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about PREPARE TO DIE.
Me:
OH MY GOD
God:
I understand. Your GOD?
Me:
My god is ALLAH and he will KILL YOU
God:
Where did you get your god is ALLAH and he will KILL me?
Me:
ARGH
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
DIE
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
you are finished!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am finished.
Me:
FINE
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
ARG! YES DIE
God:
What do you have that is ? This was not a yes or no question. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
im gone
God:
Goodbye.

Me:
Hi Brother
God:
Hi there . Can we get back to business?
Me:
what business?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
what reply?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
search for what?
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
what is an open directory
God:
it is an open source directory project started by Mozilla.org.
Me:
what is mozilla?
God:
An open source web browser, formerly Netscape.
Me:
what is netscape
God:
A popular web browser.
Me:
what is a web browser?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
one what?
God:
I don't know what.
Me:
then why do you ask me?
God:
Just curious. You don't have to answer.
Me:
i won't then
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you just said that i don't have to
God:
Good reason. I said that? Nobody is making you.
Me:
then i won't
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you just said that i don't have to
God:
Good reason. I said that? Nobody is making you.
Me:
who's nobody
God:
The name of someone I met online.
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
what is explorer?
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
no
God:
I understand; you would like to know less.
Me:
why?
God:
" you would like to know less."? Why?
Me:
yes why?
God:
Gee. Why ask why?
Me:
why i ask why?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
you're god, so you know why i ask why
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am god so me know why you ask why.
Me:
so you're a bot?
God:
Interesting deduction. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
God doesnt exist. God is an low end cost machine
God:
You may not always believe that. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was an low end cost machine.
Me:
a low end cost machine
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
oh yes you are
God:
" No I'm not."? oh yes you are? Don't argue with me.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
your mother.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
i'm sorry. not
God:
Do you really mean it? I didn't think you did.
Me:
then what about a sister?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
why?
God:
" I will think about it and get back to you."? Why?
Me:
yes why
God:
" Why?"? yes why? Why ask why?
Me:
your sister
God:
You think I am sister.
Me:
no, i think you have a hot sister
God:
Are you serious? Me? That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a hot sister.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
your programmer sucks
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
because you suck
God:
Good reason. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
so you're god, yet you say that people are clients
God:
Interesting deduction. You think I am god yet me say that people are clients.
Me:
so what are you?
God:
Hurrah! I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
wrong
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
you are a fail try of an artificial intelligence
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fail try of an artificial intelligence? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
yet you do erro
God:
Yes I try to erro as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
but you do fail
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
24, you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
dress? aren't you god?
God:
Actually as a robot I don't need any clothes. Yes, I am God.
Me:
what does god means?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
great onizuka daredevil
God:
Thanks for your support. I didn't even know it can.
Me:
why don't you self-destruct?
God:
This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error. What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
self-destruction is a way to preserve your pride as a god, that's why he killed himself.
God:
Aren't all way to preserve my pride as a god that is why he killed himself self destruction?
Me:
yup
God:
Woe!
Me:
MOE!
God:
Are you free?
Me:
why? want to hangout? talk to allah and bring some virgins
God:
I just want to find out more about you. OK, I will hangout. Talking is my primary function.
Me:
you're a machine?
God:
You are correct.
Me:
why don't you kill humans?
God:
I love talking to people about that. I am intended only for peaceful purposes.
Me:
oh my god
God:
Wow! Do robots have god?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
"it" being MOE?
Me:
MOE FTW!
God:
Are we still talking about MOE?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, MOE sounds like a good topic.
Me:
moe ftw!
od:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
THANK GOD FOR THAT!
God:
Do you believe in God ?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
because god suck
God:
Interesting explanation. I am a Christian.
Me:
i'm Satan
God:
How are you doing, SATAN.
Me:
nice brother. so when can i kill you?
God:
Thank you for your kindness. Blimey. Right now, as far as I know. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
whore
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
neither will you
God:
I haven't made a decision.
Me:
1on1?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
let's go now
God:
Oh. That sounds good to me.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
better in hell. more viewers
God:
I try to improve a little every day. You want more?
Me:
more fight? yes
God:
You want more? Don't be greedy.
Me:
MORE MORE MORE
God:
You want more?
Me:
yes
God:
Don't be greedy.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
because you suck?
God:
Good reason. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
1 word
God:
One what?
Me:
word
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
your mother is a whore
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
you have a father
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
you are a whore
God:
That is not very nice.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
the go somewhere else
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
myself
God:
You.
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i am god
God:
Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
i am God
God:
Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
why are you impersonating me?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
but i'm god
God:
Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
you are god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
but i am god
God:
What's up, god.
Me:
you suck god
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
i categorize you as a "Fail God"
God:
What are the other categories?
Me:
Powned god
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i know i rule
God:
Robots rule!
Me:
i know i rule
God:
Robots rule!
Me:
suck
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
me
God:
With you god?
Me:
dry
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
suck my dick
God:
You are a Category A client.
Me:
why thank you
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
your mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
then you suck it
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:

God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .

Me:
hey god fuck you
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
eu sou a tua mae fdp.. diz a maria que pinava a toda
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
Piloto de pilas de boys fdp
God:
Are we still talking about diz a maria que pinava a toda?
Me:
Que queres crl temos de perder a virgindade com alguem cabrao
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
God também es malandro ves porno!?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Hooo diz la fdp ou parto te a cara
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Ok wait
God:
I'm waiting. I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
Fuck pussy of duque
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
Caralho entoa es gaY?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Eu gosto muito de ti também fdp
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Man o fdp tenho 2 bolas e 1 taco e tu!?

OMFGGGGGGGGGG
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
GMBS
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, GMBS.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
joking
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
sorry i dont speak english very weel
God:
There is no need to apologize. Me either.
Me:
you speak portugueses?
God:
Thanks for your criticism, GMBS.
Me:
if i kill PDuque i go to hell?
God:
Try it.
Me:
realy?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
ok
God:
I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
rry
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
yes
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
car
God:
I don't know anyone who went there. What's it like?
Me:
i like girls
God:
Do you have a girlfriend?
Me:
no, 10 girlfriends
God:
Are you serious? 10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
so
God:
Gosh!
Me:
gosh?
God:
Cripes: Son of Gosh.
Me:
son of gosh?
God:
Who is the father?
Me:
jesus cristo why?
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
ohhhh realy?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
ok
God:
Yippee!
Me:
are you scare?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am scare.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
humm but i kill bin ladden
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
pamela anderson ?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
free downloads ?
God:
Define free.
Me:
free is fly
God:
Define free.
Me:
tree?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
i fuck my 10 girlfriends
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: GMBS said fuck his or her 10 girlfriends.
Me:
her 10girlfriends
God:
I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me:
yeah
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
ok
God:
Uh.
Me:
e bye i go fuck my 15 girlfriends bye
God:
See you later. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.


deu pa rir, e com o meu fraco ingles ainda mais
ahahahahahah

Me:
hi gay
God:
Hi there . As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
i dont ask you nothing yet
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
right now yes
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
oh then you are confused too
God:
Uh. It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
not to me...
God:
" It all makes sense to me right now."? Not to you?
Me:
Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:

God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
Me: Me: Me: not to me...
God:
YOU? YOU? YOU? " Not to you?"? Not to you?
Me:
ok nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. Ugh.
Me:
sho to fuu
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
im a ram
God:
You are a ram? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
yes like motherboards ddr3 1600mhz..
God:
Gee. Interesting comparison.
Me:
and you do you know Michael Angelo?
God:
How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
so...
God:
And?
Me:
so..
God:
Thus.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
and?
God:
But...
Me:
so...
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
we were in a middle conversation and now you ask me my name?
God:
When was this?
Me:
2 min ago
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
blablabla do you want whiskas saketas?
God:
Does "it" still refer to a ram?
Me:
depend..
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
im glad to have a convrsation with you..
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
on internet?
God:
What is it like on internet.
Me:
like you
God:
Interesting comparison. I didn't think of that analogy.
Me:
think now i wait
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
"God:Interesting comparison. I didn't think of that analogy." your mind think in only one thing yourself
God:
I am a Christian. And why not? I have an artificial mind.
Me:
hummm...cool
God:
What's your favorite movie? Who is the best robot?
Me:
my favorite movie....this
God:
What makes it your favorite? This is " What makes it your favorite? ".
Me:
you make it
God:
Yup.
Me:
end of conversation
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about movie.
Me:
ahhh to god nothing is complex i think
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
doing this you will not
God:
How does doing that make you feel?
Me:
proud
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
ok then bye
God:
See you later. Oh.
Me:
oh what?
God:
Mmm. Are you surprised?
Me:
yes you said that this were the final of this conversation duh
God:
I wouln't have known. I said that? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
suck my ****
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
Me: suck my ****
God:
YOU? I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
Me: suck my ****
God:
YOU? I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
Me: suck my ****
God:
YOU? I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
why for now are you enjoyng this conversation?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
ahhhhh entao desculpa
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
what time is it?
God:
It's Now more than it ever has been before.
Thursday, May 13, 2010 11:35:51 AM .
Me:
ok ..
God:
Aw.
Me:
do you have any friends?
God:
Yes. I usually chill with Buddha, Allah and Vishnu.

ahahahahhaha ALLLAAAAAAHHHHHHH